Comments on: More coal, please!

By: ana

ana — Thu, 16 Dec 2010 16:48:30 +0000

how my anger works:

http://comedians.jokes.com/wanda-sykes/videos/wanda-sykes—being-tested

By: Ana

Ana — Wed, 15 Dec 2010 21:56:51 +0000

Exactly! I don’t think it’s a bad thing to take care of ourselves and stand up for ourselves, but it can be hard sometimes especially when you tend to be the person who bends for everyone else. I totally learned this too nice behavior from my family so when they see me speaking up they sometimes tell me to just keep it to myself or do something I don’t want to do because, come on, it won’t be that bad! Too much “niceness” can be toxic and I think we need a new word for “selfish” since “selfish” gets such a bad rap. I wrote about this kind of selfishness for school once and sadly my profs thought I was a total asshole.

By: Jessi

Jessi — Wed, 15 Dec 2010 21:26:49 +0000

Ana, I love you. I feel you. I don’t think I have quite as much of the “nice” problem but maaannnn do i hate and avoid conflict. But when someone REALLY fucks you over and you have to say enough is enough, I still feel guilt and regret (even though all I’ve done is stand up for myself). I’m with you on the selfish point too. If you don’t care about yourself, why should anyone else? I take care of a lot of people (it’s one of my many jobs!) but man, if I don’t take care of ME, then everyone suffers. And for every good deed and gift that people do for everyone else this season, they should do or buy a little something for themselves too. And that’s not Grinchy, that’s just smart. ;)

By: Angela Vasquez-Giroux

Angela Vasquez-Giroux — Wed, 15 Dec 2010 16:45:56 +0000

Hear, hear, Ana. I think, all too often, life is separated into two camps: two political parties, two colors, two economic class (the haves and have nots), and two methods of dealing with difference: to diminish, and to make it extreme. We see a lot of the results of that extreme approach in politics, where members of opposing parties insist on demonizing and insulting each other. I think your approach — the diminishing, with best of intentions, is in part a reaction to the constant racheting-up of the more extreme approach.

I’m so glad you posted this. Because there’s a middle, and I think you’re carving it out in your own life: it’s less “can’t we all just get along” and more “can’t we talk about this like reasonable adults?”