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I’ve decided to restrict the absurdity of my wishlist by not including a Stanley Cup victory for the Flyers as an item. So as long as we’re clear that I do really wish for that, then what follows are the next best things:

1) Isn’t it obvious?

Flyers = my favorite hockey team; Citizen Bank Park = my favorite sports venue; outdoor hockey = so fresh and so clean. Please?

2) Sharks Tickets +Transportation to San Jose: I’ve been living in San Francisco for two years and I finally made it to my first Sharks (v. Blackhawks) game a couple weeks ago. If you find yourself within spitting distance of the Shark tank you should really see a game.

This time was actually my second attempt at seeing the Sharks. My first try failed in a rather embarrassing fashion: the day of the game I was reading preview coverage in my Berkeley apartment and noticed that even though my tickets said the puck drop was at one, the all-knowing Google said game time was at four. Thinking there was a last minute time switch, I told my friend the game was pushed back and went out for a long run. By the time I realized my mistake, it was the middle of the second period and there was no hope of even getting close to the rink before the final buzzer. So, yeah.

The Sharks are good fun and the rink is so clean it practically sparkles. I’ve never felt so bad about getting over excited at a sporting event and sloshing a bit of beer out of my cup. I also love the arm-chomping thing. I’m not usually one to jump on the bandwagon with cheers and paraphernalia, but turning your fingers into teeth and your arms into shark jaws is way more fun than you think.

I’d love to see them a few more times as long as I’m living here, but I lack a car and had a little altercation with a certain carshare company a few weeks ago. That story is for another time. I did find out public transportation to San Jose is possible, but round trip, it takes quite a bit longer than the actual game.

So, I’d like tickets along with reliable, efficient transportation to and from the spectacle. Some Sharks’ gear, too, if someone is feeling generous. Oh, and some Afghani food in Fremont before the game. But now I’m just getting demanding. Moving on.

3) For Gavin, I hope Dale Hunter can turn the Caps into. . . the Caps, instead of just the mostly Ovechkin show.

Dale Hunter and the Capitals' bench

For the record, Gavin wished for a mention of the Capitals in this column, so really I’m granting wishes here, too.

4) I wish the realignment meant the Whalers were coming back. I really love these jerseys.

5) If a Movember mustache and a play-off hockey beard had a lovechild, it would be named Brian Wilson — whom I hate. But, such an unfortunate coupling might have the side benefit of condensing the number of months per year that men have an excuse to grow small animals on their upper lips and chins. I’d be happy about that.

6) In all honesty, though, I asked for this AND it’s on its way to me right now:

I know an iPad is pretty generic and has nothing to do with hockey directly, per se, but when your roommate is an Apple employee it’s hard not to want one. In case you were wondering, even the hardware engineers are great salesmen. Once I have it, though, I can recommend great hockey apps. Not to mention, the title of my very first column here will have an alternate meaning.

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Yael Borofsky is a writer, editor, and Philadelphia sports fan living in San Francisco. Follow her on Twitter @yaelborofsky.